Книга Чистый nonsense - Эдвард Лир

I

Said the Table to the Chair,'You can hardly be aware,'How I suffer from the heat,'And from chilblains on my feet!'If we took a little walk,'We might have a little talk!'Pray let us take the air!Said the Table to the Chair.

II

Said the Chair to the table,'Now you know we are not able!'How foolishly you talk,'When you know we cannot walk!Said the Table with a sigh,'It can do no harm to try,'I've as many legs as you,'Why can't we walk on two?

III

So they both went slowly down,And walked about the townWith a cheerful bumpy sound,As they toddled round and round.And everybody cried,As they hastened to the side,'See! the Table and the Chair'Have come out to take the air!

IV

But in going down an alley,To a castle in a valley,They completely lost their way,And wandered all the day,Till, to see them safely back,They paid a Ducky-quack,And a Beetle, and a Mouse,Who took them to their house.

V

Then they whispered to each other,'O delightful little brother!'What a lovely walk we've taken!'Let us dine on Beans and Bacon!So the Ducky and the leetleBrowny-Mousy and the BeetleDined and danced upon their headsTill they toddled to their beds.

Стол и Стул

I

Стулу Стол признался как-то:«От тебя не скрою факта:Исстрадался от жары,От мороза и хандры!Вот бы погулять вдвоём,Поболтать о том о сём!Ах, пойдём скорей, молю!И отказа не стерплю».

II

Стул Столу сказал в ответ:«Знаешь ведь, что ходу нет!Что же глупость городить:Не умеем мы ходить!»Стол, не подавляя вздоха:«Всё ж попробовать неплохо,Восемь ножек на двоих —На двоих пошли своих?»

III

Вниз вразвалочку спустилисьИ по городу пустились —Ножек гулкий перестукРассыпается вокруг.Зря процессию такую,Все бежали врассыпную:«Ох, и чудные дела —Мебель из дому ушла!»

IV

Продвигаясь по аллееК замку белого белее,Перепутали пути,Сутки проплутав почти.Глядь – навстречу Кря-утёнок,Жу-жучок и Пи-мышонок,Те, понятно, не бесплатно,Отвели друзей обратно.

V

Дома Стол и Стул на ушкиВсё шептали дружка дружке:«Как я рад, о милый брат!Был прекрасен променад!»И обед – бекон с бобами —Разделив с тремя гостями,В пляс пошли вниз головойИ в постель – на боковой.

Nonsense Stories

Бестолковые истории

The Story of the Four Little Children Who Went Round the World

Once upon a time, a long while ago, there were four little people whose names were Violet, Slingsby, Guy, and Lionel; and they all thought they should like to see the world. So they bought a large boat to sail quite round the world by sea, and then they were to come back on the other side by land. The boat was painted blue with green spots, and the sail was yellow with red stripes; and when they set off, they only took a small Cat to steer and look after the boat, besides an elderly Quangle-Wangle, who had to cook dinner and make the tea; for which purposes they took a large kettle.

For the first ten days they sailed on beautifully, and found plenty to eat, as there were lots of fish, and they only had to take them out of the sea with a long spoon, when the Quangle-Wangle instantly cooked them, and the Pussy-cat was fed with the bones, with which she expressed herself pleased on the whole, so that all the party were very happy.

During the daytime, Violet chiefly occupied herself in putting salt-water into the churn, while her three brothers churned it violently, in the hope that it would turn into butter, which it seldom, if ever did; and in the evening they all retired into the Tea-kettle, where they all managed to sleep very comfortably, while Pussy and the Quangle-Wangle managed the boat.

After a time they saw some land at a distance; and when they came to it, they found it was an island made of water quite surrounded by earth. Besides that, it was bordered by evanescent isthmusses with a great Gulf-stream running about all over it, so that it was perfectly beautiful, and contained only a single tree, 503 feet high.

When they had landed, they walked about, but found to their great surprise, that the island was quite full of veal-cutlets and chocolate-drops, and nothing else.

So they all climbed up the single high tree to discover, if possible, if there were any people; but having remained on the top of the tree for a week, and not seeing anybody, they naturally concluded that there were no inhabitants, and accordingly when they came down, they loaded the boat with two thousand veal-cutlets and a million of chocolate drops, and these afforded them sustenance for more than a month, during which time they pursued their voyage with the utmost delight and apathy.

After this they came to a shore where there were no less than sixty-five great red parrots with blue tails, sitting on a rail all of a row, and all fast asleep. And I am sorry to say that the Pussy-cat and the Quangle-Wangle crept softly and bit off the tail-feathers of all the sixty-five parrots, for which Violet reproved them both severely.

Notwithstanding which, she proceeded to insert all the feathers, two hundred and sixty in number, in her bonnet, thereby causing it to have a lovely and glittering appearance, highly prepossessing and efficacious.